Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
