My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize