i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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