It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
