this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
