how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
