She just used a chaser for red wine.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
