when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize