i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
