We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
