Don't make out with my wife yet
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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