That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
