Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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