Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
