I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
