Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
