I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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