Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
