The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Btw I puked in your glovebox
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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