we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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