We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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