woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
God gave him joint rollers for hands
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Randomize
