At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
