dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Farmville is her only friend.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
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