At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
