i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
