Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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