I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
