I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
