if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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