bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
