Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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