Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
