Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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