oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Randomize
