Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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