You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize