I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I met the friendliest cop last night
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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