i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
