if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize
