I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize