Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize