explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
