puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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