Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
