We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Randomize
