we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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