I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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