Have you finally orgasmed yet?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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