So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
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For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
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Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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