i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize