Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
