I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
