We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
