she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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