Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Randomize
