honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Randomize
