so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize