I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
