Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
