just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
