There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
My liver just had a heart attack.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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