trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
