I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
